Category: Be careful of what you wish


Chapter 2

I was living a life of a usual high school student. Busy with school life and extra enrichment lessons and working my part time job fives times a week. It wasn’t exactly money that I needed, but having more cash than your usual allowance means being able  to live a little more extravagant life. I was looking into buying branded goods. In fact I’m never interested in any and I haven’t got one. It didn’t matter with me that most kids around me have branded goods. The can show off all try want, it wasn’t something in life that I was looking for so it didn’t bother me.

Working part time means less time for revision and sleep. But, because I stayed alert in class, my grades weren’t affected. It just meant I have less time for myself and my friends. I bid goodbye to my group of friends other other day while I went for work and they were out for early dinner or movies. I didn’t like spending money on those. I don’t encourage an extravagant student life. Those kind of life can come later when I could afford it was always a thought I had on my mind.

My survival skills? Music and comic. These are those two. I can’t give without music for a moment. I can’t allow my ears to be bare for a moment without sounds. It was also music that encouraged me most and gave me a sense of living. I came in touch with pop music during my late elementary school, but it wssnt only in high school that I really started regretting that I haven’t studied anything about music. These days, reflecting back on my life, I couldn’t help to feel that I haven’t live life to the fullest doing things that I want.

It was a slow week that week. I think it was first year of high school. That was the period that I felt a lot of stress as well. It wasn’t really manageable since there isn’t really anyone I can talk to about. My expectations of myself have always been sky high and in additional to the stress that my parents gave me. They probably didn’t realize then that I had been giving myself a lot of stress. I couldn’t sleep at night. Parents were busy with work as usual; late nights and many times leaving early in the morning. At times, I’ll hear them quarrel about things. But as they are adults I believed they can resolve it among themselves.

I didn’t know what went on and on a certain night, dad just told me that he would be going away for a couple of days. I couldn’t asked more and he left. It was a very sudden departure. Mom didn’t mention anything either but just told me exactly what dad said and asked me not to probe. I was curious. And, not to mention, worried as well. The next evening, I got a text from my aunt and she told me that dad was staying with her for the next couple days. She said that she knew he would’t mention anything to be but I’d be worried, so she chose to inform me. I was glad she did.

Couple days passed and there was nothing from dad. My patience is running it. Mom doesn’t seemed to be bothered about it at all. I started calling and texting and it was obvious that I count get through. Next day, at my work place, I texted again and I got a reply this time. Knowing that dad was checking his phone, I decided to call. We were talking about things, but he chose not to tell me anything about that issue at all. Neither did I probe about it. I was trying to hold back my tears as I spoke to him. It was just a short couple minutes talk. He hung up and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I teared and it turned into weeping and loud cries that I tried so hard to suppress.

Couple of days passed and I got another text from another aunt of time. She said that I should roughly know what’s going on by now. Both my parents refused to talk to each other. And they would’t want to tell me about it. She believed that I should be informed. The last part of her text stated that they would be signing the papers on Saturday and they would do it in discreet.

My heart broke. Nothing came to my mind. It was darkness in my eyes. I stayed like that for a while before I started to cry. I gave a call to my good friend then and I remembered that she comforted me for the whole night. It was really late when we hung up and we have early lessons next morning. I force myself to sleep.

Couple days passed with me feeling dull and unhappy. On Friday night, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about what’s going to happen on Saturday. The more I thought about it, the upset I get. I cried for what felt like the longest time. And a lot of thoughts went through my mind. My emotions turned to anger. I was resentful of them. Why did they choose not to let me know? I was in a despair.

I had never believe in the existence of saints. But what hapopened that night and the next day forced me to.

“If you really do exist, prove to me that you do. You know what I desire down in my heart.” I said what in teary eyes and then I wiped it dry and continued, “There,s no free lunch in this world. So, I am willing to exchange it with half of my life. But, if only you would also teach people who should be taught a lesson a lesson. They need to know how unbearable it is.”

No one left any house to anywhere the next day.

Advertisements

Chapter 1

This year is my last year of middle school. There’s a major exam round the corner and everyone is stressful preparing for it. We have to get good scores for all the subjects because which high school we can enter all depends on the grades. Most of the extra local activities and clubs have all stopped in order for all students to have sufficient time to prepare for their exams. But, not for the dance team because we have an upcoming year-end competition round the corner and that happens to fall on a weekday afternoon just a month before the exam. I took extra languages as well because of my interest in it. There’s an exam for that as well. Luckily, I was able to get an A grade which spared me for a re-test later. But, dance club was an issue. As time draws nearer, our instructor gets more lenient on us and practice hours just doesn’t end. Days of practice added from a day to two to three. I was finding it stressful mentally and physically. I told my mom about it, but she said I shouldn’t be so irresponsible and back out last-minute and I should endure until the competition is over. Hating to lose out and the unfairness of me backing out alone leaving the others hanging in the air urged me to hold on. I was out early morning and back late at night due to practices. My body couldn’t take the stress much longer. I was giving myself more stress because I didn’t have sufficient time to prepare myself for the mock exam papers coming up for the next week. It happened to fall on just three weeks before the dance competition.

Day and night I studied when I have the time. To save time, dad offered to drive me to school. I took the offer gladly. I had breakfast with dad each morning at school since then since he drove me and he set off to work after which. Two to three hours of sleep isn’t helping and worse, it wasn’t even peaceful sleep. I took the mock papers and I didn’t manage to score well for the papers. I’m not a smart kid, but I worked hard for my credits. Having insufficient sleep is causing me to lose my concentration. I spoke to dad about this over breakfast one day. He said he understood what I’m going through now because he went through the same thing during his middle school. I felt a little comforted at his words. Mom decided to enroll me in tuition classes to help me in getting better grades. Whatever reasons I gave was of no acceptance for rejecting those class. I went for it and thus leaving me no time to self-study at all. I didn’t complain. The day for the mock exam came and I took it. Teachers marked them the very day and gave it back to us to go through our mistakes and learn from it. For those who didn’t score well, they are all to stay back after school for an hour of extra classes. As most of the students have extra tuition lessons, lunch time was cut down to 30 minutes for those who needed to stay for extra lessons. I was one of those. I needed to stay late for at least 3 days and a day out of those three days was the day I need to go for dance practice and the remaining two weekdays were the usual practice days as well. Five days of extra tuition lessons outside school, three days for extra lessons in school and three days odd dance club. Each and every hour was filled with things to do.

Days passed and my body couldn’t manage to take it. I pretended to be sick for a day and took a day off dance to rest and clear my mind. I went to school and extra lessons as per normal. More days passed and I have been giving reasons for the last two weeks not to go for dance practice. It didn’t get permitted of course. I was asked to stay in and watch so that I won’t drag the whole team down when I resume practice. But, I never had the intention to. All I wanted was to drop out of dance. The dance instructor picked me. I didn’t want to be part of the competition. But, because of my height and I’m good I’m obligated. The instructor called my mom. Mom questioned me. I find all sorts of excuses and I lied for what I remembered to be the first time in my life. I give all sorts of reasons that I could and I had to put on an act. I thought I convinced my mom because she said to speak with the instructor about it. Next day, she took time off work and dropped by my school. I was so glad to see her. I could finally drop myself off dance club was the thought that I had. She approached the instructor and spoke to her.

“My mom wants to speak with you about my dance practices.”
“She does? I’ll speak with her while you should  get on with practices.”

I backed down, but stretch my ears to listen to it.

“Yes, yes, I’m aware. She told me about it.”
“… …”
“Yes, yes, I’m sorry about that. Yes… Yes…”
“… …”

The situation doesn’t seemed to be what I had expected, so I decided to approach with caution. I got near enough to them and my mom touch me on my shoulder. Everyone wasn’t practicing at all. They were all focused on the two adults. I could hear exactly what they were talking now. My mom was totally siding and believing what the instructor said which wasn’t true. All I did was find excuses to drop out of dance cub. My mom totally buy the instructor’s side of the story. I thought she’d side me and get me out of the club because studies are more important. This was definitely betrayal. I just explained everything to her clearly the night before and I certainly heard her promising me.

This is wrong; absolutely wrong. I poised myself. Waited for them to finish the talk. I told the instructor that I want to go back with my mom today and I was given the permission. She asked me to rest well for today. I didn’t start a conversation with my mom on the whole journey back. The betrayal I felt for a 16-year-old. I was angst and disappointed. That night I couldn’t sleep. I cried in my bed for what seemed to be the longest night in my 16 years of life.

I made a wish that night. “You betrayed me today. You’re perhaps never to be trusted. I won’t choose to tell you anything at all anymore. You broke what seemed to be a perfect family lifestyle for me. Caring parents and lovely home. You won’t ever be able to make up for today. You’ll regret, but won’t know the reason for you’re losing my trust.”

In life there are many times when we feel that something is lack. There are also many times when we made wishes without our slightest knowledge. It could probably just be a casual wish. Sometimes it comes true, but sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes we make a wish out of desperate needs, sometimes it’s an earnest request. It could be for oneself, or it could be for others. There’s a saying that there’s no free lunch in this world. I made a wish today and I hope that it would come true. Have you made any today?